The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse

By W.H. Mumfrey

Resistance is Your leading Directive

Have you ever skilled a sensation of lacking time? have you came upon a metal implant someplace on your physique? it truly is most probably that you are a sufferer of alien abduction, and also you do not even understand it.

Aliens are between us. whereas the real intentions of those mysterious intruders from outer house are unknown, there is not any doubt that their activities are nefarious. it is your correct - your civic accountability - to benefit the abilities essential to provide yourself with protection, your family and finally your planet.

Aliens are looking to whisk you away within the evening to accomplish terrifying experiments on you. is not it time you find out how use your MP3 participant to protect your self from their paralyzing powers? will not you understand how to stay clear of the pursuit of a flying saucer? would not you sleep larger at evening realizing a few confirmed hand-to-hand wrestle options bound to cease your extraterrestrial foe in its tracks?

Make no mistake - our international is below assault and this instruction manual could be the purely factor status among the human race and overall annihilation. learn it and subscribe to the resistance.

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The Sugar Frosted Nutsack: A Novel

By Mark Leyner

Excessive above the bustling streets of Dubai, within the world's tallest and most magnificent skyscraper, live the gods and goddesses of the trendy international. considering that they emerged 14 billion years in the past from a bus blaring a music remarkably just like the Mister Softee jingle, they have wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. not able to manage their jealousies, the gods have splintered into a number of factions, led by way of the immortal enemies XOXO, Shanice, l. a. Felina, Fast-Cooking Ali, and tycoon Magoo. Ike Karton, an unemployed butcher from New Jersey, is their present obsession.

Ritualistically recited through a solid of drug-addled bards, THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK is Ike's epic tale. A raucous story of gods and males confronting lust, ambition, dying, and the everlasting verities, it's a wildly enjoyable, wickedly quickly gambol in the course of the unmapped corridors of the mind's eye.

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God Is Disappointed in You

By Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler

God Is disillusioned in You is for those who wish to learn the Bible... if it'll simply reduce to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and its interminable passages of poetry, family tree, and legislation, each ebook of the Bible is condensed right down to its middle message, in not more than a couple of pages each.

Written through Mark Russell with cartoons via New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is disillusioned in You is an often hilarious, frequently stunning, yet continually exact retelling of the Bible, together with the components selectively omitted via Sunday college lecturers and church sermons. Irreverent but devoted, this booklet is a must-read for someone who desires to see previous the fog of spiritual agendas and cultural debates to find what the Bible quite says.

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Castle Dreams

Lord Incarnadine, King of the geographical regions Perilous, has come to a sad end--and his self-proclaimed successor has all of the fort dwellers below his spell, scuffling with for the throne. yet there is a cause the citadel is termed perilous, and this would-be usurper is ready to determine why! "Madcap technological know-how fable . . fun-filled adventure!"--Booklist.

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Quarter Life Poetry: Poems for the Young, Broke and Hangry

The author of the preferred Quarter existence Poetry Tumblr and Instagram tackles real-life truths of labor, funds, intercourse, and plenty of different 20-something demanding situations during this laugh-out-loud selection of poetry.

Samantha Jayne is familiar with that lifestyles post-college is not as glamorous as all undergrads imagine it will be... simply because she's presently dwelling it. At 25, Samantha all started developing doodles and humorous poems approximately her #struggle to percentage with buddies on Instagram. To her shock, those poems have been picked up by way of 20-somethings everywhere in the global who agreed, "This is actually us."

At a time while it kind of feels like every body else is getting married, snagging a dream activity, and paying off their pupil loans, Samantha's poetry captures the voice of adolescents far and wide who understand that your 20s can occasionally be the complete opposite of "the most sensible years of your life."

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Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek

By Olivia Munn

Now the celebrity of NBC's excellent undefined, Olivia Munn's hilarious first number of essays, Suck It ask yourself girl, deals up such tales like "Thought's approximately My First Agent's Girlfriend's Vagina," in which Olivia skewers lifestyles in Hollywood. In "Sex: What you are able to do to assist your self Have extra of It," she frankly will get all the way down to the enterprise of having it on, together with suggestion on easy methods to effectively wrap it and bag it. In "What to Do while the Robots Invade (Yes, When!)," Olivia deals necessary details on. . .what to do while the robots invade! This booklet additionally contains such convenient treasures as a timeline of serious moments in Geek historical past, a turn publication, and an unofficial FAQ part. Suck It, ask yourself lady! brings Olivia Munn's superb wit, and lightning-fast gown alterations to an international that wishes extra scrapbooking, sea monkeys, and a freakin' hoverboard!

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1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader

By Cary McNeal

Fact: Chocolate includes the alkaloid theobromine, which in excessive doses will be poisonous to people, and in even small quantities can kill canines, parrots, horses, and cats.
This implies that regardless of its identify, the Kit-Kat sweet bar isn't a steered snack to your kitty-cat. i'm wondering what number cats have died due to this confusion.

Fact: the main germ-laden position in your bathroom is not the seat or perhaps the bowl--it's the handle.
The resolution: do not flush. allow the subsequent man fear approximately it.

There are "just the facts"--and then there are only the proof that might frighten the bejeezus out of you. and because of this little gem a WC ebook, you will by no means examine the realm an analogous means back, with no, er, dry heaving a bit bit.

From the sneaky fish which can swim up our genitals to the E. coli micro organism lurking within the very water we drink, traumatic phenomena are in all places we flip. academic, wonderful, and undeniably frightening, this ebook is not absolute to assist you, um, visit the rest room, yet it truly is sure to make some time there more...informed.

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Ramona's World (Ramona Series)

By Beverly Cleary

Ramona Quimby cannot wait to begin fourth grade. With a brand new child sister to gloat approximately, new calluses to teach off, and a brand new ally to get to understand, everything's going to be great!

Or is it? while Ramona's spelling is atrocious, her instructor, Mrs. Meacham, is company approximately her wanting to enhance. Then a frightening incident at a friend's condominium leaves Ramona feeling at fault. Who knew starting to be up may be packed with such advanced situations?

Newbery Medal profitable writer Beverly Cleary's ultimate ebook within the Ramona sequence has the entire heat, realism, and humor of its predecessors.

Supports the typical center nation Standards

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When It's A Jar

By Tom Holt

Maurice has simply killed a dragon with a bread knife. And had his future foretold... and had his real love lively away. that is exactly the type of stuff that'd deliver out the latent heroism in someone. regrettably, Maurice is lovely certain he hasn't acquired any latent heroism.

Meanwhile, a guy wakes up in a jar in a special form of pickle (figuratively speaking). He cannot get out, after all, yet neither can he bear in mind his identify, or what gravity is, or what these issues at the ends of his legs are called... and each time he begins operating all of it out, a person makes him disregard back. fail to remember everything.
Only something may also help him. the reply to the main baffling query of all...
WHEN IS A DOOR no longer A DOOR?

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Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d'Art

By Christopher Moore

A rollicking story that includes designated published map endpapers and greater than dozen masterpieces of artwork through the booklet, Sacré Bleu is healthier than an afternoon on the museum!

it's the colour of the Virgin Mary's cloak, a blinding pigment wanted via artists, an attractive hue infused with hazard, event, and maybe even the supernatural. it's . . .

Sacré Bleu

In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went right into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why could an artist on the peak of his artistic powers try to take his personal existence . . . after which stroll a mile to a doctor's condominium for support? Who was once the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was once stalking him throughout France? And why had the painter lately develop into deathly fearful of a definite color of blue?

those are only many of the questions confronting Vincent's friends—baker-turned-painter Lucien Lessard and bon vivant Henri Toulouse-Lautrec—who vow to find the reality approximately van Gogh's premature demise. Their quest will lead them on a surreal odyssey and brothel-crawl deep into the paintings global of overdue nineteenth-century Paris.

Oh lÀ lÀ, quelle surprise, and zut alors! a tasty confection of intrigue, ardour, and artwork history—with cancan ladies, baguettes, and tremendous French cognac thrown in for sturdy measure—Sacré Bleu is one other masterpiece of wit and sweetness from the only, the one, Christopher Moore.

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